Written by Michael Thervil
Photo by Beatrix Boros
On an international level age gap dating is something that is so regularly practiced that it’s not even given a second thought, however in America, the opposite is true. In fact, age gap dating is often seen as something that is not only taboo, but it’s found to be “repulsive” and outright “creepy” that a man would desire to have a woman that is significantly younger than what is considered the norm. For many women, especially older women, they view age gap dating as something that has the potential to place a woman in the position to be mentally and sexually exploited by men. And as quiet as kept, many men in America are faced with having to suppress their desire for women that are significantly younger than themselves.
Of course, we are talking about women of legal age in America who are 18 years of age and out of high school. This should go without saying as this is an adult reading audience. Before we get into the advantages of age gap dating, one of the negative aspects that we previously mentioned is that people outside of the relationship will often attempt to sabotage a couple that engages in age gap dating. In some cases, couples that date with an age gap have reported that they have been unaccepted by family members and have lost friendships because of their relationship status.
Another rarely thought about negative was that there can be times within the beginning phases of the relationship that the couple may have a difficult time relating to each other as they could be generations apart. For instance, a Baby Boomer may have a hard time relating to a Millennial or someone that is a part of Generation Z. Although the issue of relativity fades away or time – it still can be hard for some people to deal with initially. But when you really examine age gap dating there are some dynamics that occur and can be easily observed; and one of those dynamics is that women respect older men.
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It was the late great Kevin Samuels that once said, “respect to a man is what love is to a woman”. What this means in terms of age gap dating is that women are less likely to exhibit acts of defiance with an older man. In street terms she’s less likely to “shit test” him. An older man when compared to a younger man is owed a certain kind of respect that only comes with age and wisdom; and since all men have to build themselves up by going through different phases of life, it’s well warranted that women should be paying proper respects to older men. This is not to say that younger men aren't deserving of respect, but there’s just a stark difference in the kind of respect an older man gets versus a younger man.
Another reason why age gap dating works between men and women is that while Men need more time to build themselves up, women in contrast are born with everything they need. It’s both hard wired and socially engineered for men to obtain, maintain, control, and have the ability to allocate resources so that they can present themselves as worthy of having a woman in their lives. For women, all they need and are required to have is have the ability to bear children, stay fit, friendly, beautiful, inspirational, cooperative, and submissive – all of these characteristics are free and must be honed over time in a woman’s earliest years of her life.
Another thing that age gap dating does is that it allows a man to lead and allows a woman to be led. A woman can’t be properly led if she is the same age as her significant other. What we mean by this is the following two examples. If a man is 26 and the woman is 24 years of age, the man needs at least another 10 to 12 years before he’s able to really be in both the mental and financial space where he can lead and take care of a woman. The 24-year-old woman in contrast when dating a 26-year-old man will feel as if he is still somewhat too immature to be of any guidance to her as he has not lived life long enough and most likely doesn’t have the financial resources available to sustain her. And even if he did have the financial resources at his disposal, there is a high probability that he will be irresponsible with his money.
For the second example, let’s say a man is 45 and the woman is 42 years of age. While the man is in his prime earning years and has lived life enough to know how to strategically allocate his financial resources, the woman on the other hand is more likely to have had too many sexual partners to properly pair bond with the man, and she may have also obtained things such as houses or at the very least learned how to live without a man in her life; and she has more than likely purchased her own car. She may have even been on various vacations in and out of the country. What gets lost in this shuffled deck of cards is the fact that there’s the increased likelihood that there’s nothing new a man could possibly give to her to make her feel special as she may have felt before she accumulated all the things she has in her life on her own.
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In short, she’s hard to please, prone to being disagreeable, argumentative, and rebellious. Moreover, she’s also most likely harder to get along with because after either being played by men or playing men in her past; she has learned to disassociate her feelings from her purse. This is why age gap dating is so successful and more internationally recognized and practiced than it is in America. Again, it’s in a man’s nature to lead and it's in a woman’s nature to be guided with direction from a man. To take away a man's ability to lead is to purposely stifle a man's personal growth and rob the woman of someone who can direct her on how to avoid the pitfalls of life.
Lastly, on a biological level, men and women have different biological clocks. A man's prime is roughly 35 to 60 years of age, while the prime for a woman is 15 to 27 years of age. In America a woman is not considered a woman until she’s 18 and out of high school therefore she loses 3 years and her socially corrected prime becomes 18 to 27. Sure, a woman could have children at 35, 45, and even 50 years of age – but the question becomes, why should she? Just because you have a license doesn’t make you a Formula One driver, likewise just because you can do something doesn’t mean that you should. In this case it’s women purposely giving birth during the high-risk pregnancy’s phases of their lives.
For many people this is a lot to unpack but unpack they must.
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