Written by Michael Thervil
When people think of domestic violence in the United States, people tend to think of a heartless crazed man who either assaults or beats their significant other to gain control over them and or uses physical force to project strength to his significant other. Popular ideals and social expectations when it comes to men who engage in domestic violence in America are centered around clichés such as: “a man should never hit a woman” or “real men don’t hit women”. Out of the United States in most countries the notion of domestic abuse doesn’t even ring a bell. But that hasn’t stopped women advocacy groups from attempting to voice their concerns to other countries that don’t subscribe to the idea of having domestic abuse laws on their books.
When it comes to domestic abuse laws in the U.S. in 2023, times are starting to change – at least in some segments of the society. What we mean by this is that there is a growing group of men that are claiming to no longer subscribe to the idea that a man should never hit a woman. Although “wife beating” was made illegal in 1920, it really wasn’t until the mid-1960’s and 1970's during both Women’s Rights and Feminism movements that national attention was specifically drawn to what is now known as domestic violence.
But what happens when Women Start Domestic Violence – Not Men? According to the Center for Disease Control (CDC) the following statistical data was found.
“Survey data have found that men experience a high prevalence of intimate partner violence, sexual violence, and stalking. Most first-time victimizations occur before the age 25, with many victims first experiencing violence before age 18.
Intimate Partner Violence
About 1 in 3 men experienced contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
Nearly 56% of men who were victims of contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner first experienced these or other forms of violence by that partner before age 25.
Sexual Violence
Nearly 1 in 4 men in the U.S. experienced some form of contact sexual violence in their lifetime.
About 1 in 14 men in the U.S. were made to penetrate someone during their lifetime.
More than 1 in 38 men in the U.S. experienced completed or attempted rape victimization in their lifetime.
Among male victims of completed or attempted rape, about 71% first experienced such victimization prior to age 25.
Stalking
About 1 in 17 men in the U.S. were victims of stalking at some point in their lifetime.
Nearly 41% of male victims first experienced stalking before age 25.”
Adding insult to injury it was published in the book authored by Warren Farrell, who is “a high-profile expert witness in domestic violence cases” wrote a book entitled: "The Myth of Male Power” wrote that he found a:
“delineated a number of "blinders" which have served to disguise the murder of male intimates. For one, women generally use less detectable methods to murder intimates than men do, including poisonings, which are often mistakenly recorded as "heart attacks" or "accidents." Also, women are much more likely than men to convince their extramarital intimates to do the killing, or to use contract killers, who often disguise murders as accidents or suicides, according to Farrell. If the surrogate killer is caught, the murder is categorized as a "multiple offender" killing instead of as an intimate partner murder.
In addition, there are five times as many unsolved murders of men as of women. If only a small percentage of these murders are really intimate-partner homicides, men would comprise over 40 percent of all intimate murder victims. This is consistent with the DOJ's 1994 survey Murder in Families, which analyzed 10,000 cases and found that women make up over 40 percent of those charged in familial murders.”
Could these findings be why there is a growing trend of men in America who are no longer playing by the rules of “never hitting women”. Maybe. If women in America are resorting to what is known as “violence by proxy” (getting someone else to engage on violence towards their significant other on their behalf) or men accounting for over 40% of all intimate partner victims; men who subscribe to going “hands on” with women may just be justified in their beliefs and actions.
As you should know, men tend not to report instances of domestic violence not because they are afraid of being considered weak, or unable to “control” their women; but men opt out of reporting domestic violence because men have grown severely accustomed to nothing being done about to stop it happening to them in the first place. Moreover, whenever there’s a case of domestic violence with a man being involved in it no matter if he’s the victim or perpetrator the outcome remains the same – he runs into the possibility of losing employment, runs the risk of being put out of his own home, facing jail time, having a tarnished reputation, losing his firearm privileges along with a whole host of other adverse things that negatively impacts his general wellbeing.
Physical violence towards women is almost never spontaneous. Often the precursor to a man's physical assault on a woman stems from the woman verbally or passively disrespecting him in some shape or form. Hence, since men and women “fight differently” according to Dr. Jordan Peterson. Men resort to physical force which the law can heavily regulate, and women resort to “reputation destruction, innuendos, and gossip” and other actions that the law doesn’t regulate. When this is considered, it's easy to see how the application of law disproportionately not only negatively impacts men but oftentimes it’s the same law that is openly weaponized against men; thus, it prevents men from countering the aggressive antisocial behavior from women. This creates an intense frustration for men because many men don’t have an outlet that is conducive enough for them to express what they are feeling in a way that’s suitable for them.
Canadian Psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson
So many men end up lashing out in a violent way and the result is physical violence. Some people will say: “if that’s the case then the man should just walk away”. This is a true statement, however, what good is walking away for a married man who must return back to the very environment with the same person who engaged in abuse towards him? This is especially true when his wife can weaponize the law and threaten him with divorce, alimony, and child support – essentially abusing the court system to vindictively wreck financial havoc on a man if he doesn’t comply with her demands.
Adding insult to injury it was found that:
“in a comprehensive study of female homicides, Criminologist Coramae Richey Mann of Indiana University found that 60 percent of female murders of male intimates were preplanned, and 70 percent of the killings were done while the victim was asleep, bound, helpless or inebriated.”
Many are wondering if these statistics and more are going to sound the alarm and prompt some changes in America. If change fails to protect men from the wrath of female committed domestic violence and female violence towards men in general, then the growing trend of men willing to physically “check a bitch” will continue to increase.
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